Deeper meanings
by Hypno-Green
Summary: This contains domestic violence and lesbianism so if you don't like either I've warned you here. I suck at this, but this does go into the deeper meaning of Santana's life, and why Brittany stays, something a long those lines anyway.
1. Prologue

A/N I'll update this if I feel people want to read it, so let me know either way, it's got reference to domestic violence so don't read it if you're not comfortable with it then don't read it.

Brittany was smarter than people thought, she wasn't a genius by any measure but she knew people. All she had to do was look at someone and then somehow she knew at that moment what they were thinking, reading people was her thing, well that and sex, she was really good at that. But that wasn't the point, reading people was, and there was on person she could read better than anyone and that was Santana, she knew how the girl was feeling, so instead of being frustrated when the brunette was in total denial about their 'relationship', it bothered her sure but she knew Santana's history, or more family and can understand her hesitation, she just wished she'd at least admit just to her that she meant more to Santana. She also knew that the whole 'sex isn't dating' was how she was hiding it, and the endless boys, which only started after one particular incident was how she protected herself from any more rumours. Although Santana wasn't in denial about only wanting the blonde anymore, even if it was just a private thing and behind closed doors, Brittany was glad that Santana had promised to stop sleeping around, it was huge step forward and one that had accrued last night, even if they still weren't officially dating yet.

The blonde cheerio remembered a convocation that she'd had with Quinn, the only person who actually knew about them, unlike the other half of the glee club that knew they had slept together after she accidentally let it slip before sectionals, Quinn was who Brittany had confided in, and Quinn had never used it against her or the Latina.

"_I just don't get it, how can you deal with her being a complete ass, sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry?" Brittany had been feeling low about the whole thing a few weeks ago and after finding comfort in the other blonde, she'd accidentally told her everything, and was relieved when Quinn never mentioned it again, that was until they were both at Brittany's house, hanging out after glee when Mercedes and Santana had their sing off about Puck._

"_Quinn I get her, I know why she does it" She pauses, not entirely sure if she should say this but decided that she really needed to talk about it. "You remember those weeks last year when San wasn't in once cos she was 'ill'?" She waited for the ex-cheerleader to confirm that she did indeed remember that she had been ill, a two week period that had left her puzzled because Santana was never off ill and on the rare occasions she was Quinn's phone never stopped getting messages through._

"_You remember that rumour about you and her that had spread?" Quinn nodded, "Sure I do we laughed together about it." Brittany nodded, "Well San's mother and father found out about it on the Friday, and…" Brittany stopped, her usual happy face was now sand and her eyes filled with tears, one escaping and running down her check. Quinn moved from the other side of the bed to hold onto the usually bubbly blonde, wiping the tear off her check, wondering if it was bad enough to cause this reaction out of her friend if she really wanted to know. "Britt it's ok, shh, you don't have to tell me." She just shook her head in response. "You need to understand, but you can't tell San, she would never talk to me again, she doesn't even know that I know." Quinn nodded, "I promise I won't mention it." Brittany looked her in the eye, clear blue to hazel, before deciding that the ex-cheerio wasn't lying; she really would keep it to herself. Brittany took a deep breath stealing herself, for the revelation she was about to make._

"_Her parents, well entire family, are Catholic and when San got home that Friday night her mom ripped off all her clothes, telling her she needed to be 'purified' – I'm not really sure what that mean, but in her basement there's this cage. San was looked in there for three days straight, no food her only water being that which was thrown over her naked body." Brittany stopped to calm herself the tears rolling freely down her face now. Quinn herself didn't know how to react, she was in Latina had stopped inviting her over and rarely went to her house anymore. "After three days she was taken out of the cage, but god how I wish that was all, her father was there this time and he tied her to a bench, used a whip on her." That was when Brittany broke, and turned into a crying mess Quinn having to hold her to she fell asleep, there was more to the story but the tall blonde was in no state to tell it right then._

And that was why Brittany could handle Santana's problem with coming out.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N I thought I'd mention that this has nothing to do with season 2 of Glee because from what I've seen of it I don't believe it exists, basically I'm not liking all of it. I apologise if any of my updates are far between, but I'm in my last year of college and applying to university so I get a little busy. Also I'm English so as much as I am trying with Americanism I will slip up from time to time.

They'd just lost regionals but at the moment it didn't seem to matter, they were all at the hospital, Quinn having had a girl, and making up with her mother. As a group they had never felt closer, well that was until they were singing 'To Sir with Love' thinking that there time together was over and that they would revert to their own groups and some of the friends that they had made would be lost. But Sue had saved Glee club and now it was the summer.

Puck's Mum and little sister were out of town visiting family and Puck had taken that as a perfect opportunity to throw a party insisting that all of the glee would turn up, unfortunately Brittany had plans with her family, which meant she couldn't make it. Santana was almost tempted not to go, but with the only other option staying at home, she had turned up to Puck's somewhat early, a first for her, and had immediately started drinking. Several hours later, there was no way anyone could deny that Santana was as drunk as a skunk.

Kurt looked between Santana pushing away another football player, and Quinn who was sat with him, "You have to take her home, because there is no way if she carries on like that she'll be able to keep pushing them away." Quinn shook her head, "I can't, her parents hate me," knowing that she couldn't say anything more, Kurt couldn't know, "Then take her back to your place, she just can't stay here." They both watched as the girl in question stumbled through the room, muttering something about needing to pee. Quinn sighed, knowing the danger associated with doing that, but the problem was, despite the glue clubs closeness none of the others who were there felt comfortable with having Santana there without the bubbly blonde that usually was attached to her hip. But when one of the guys who'd been shoved away at least five times that night started heading up the stairs Quinn realised that if she didn't someone was going to take advantage, she grabbed Kurt's hand, "Come on," standing up and dragging him towards the stairs.

"Whoa girl, there is no way that I'm getting between a six foot horny footballer and his 'release' it'll mess my hair." Quinn stared at him as if he was off his rocker; before continuing to drag him along anyway. "You're more of a girl then me," she muttered as she pulled him up the stairs. They headed towards the bathroom first because that's where she knew the Latina had been heading.

Santana realised that she'd had way too much to drink when she was stood in the bathroom and the room was spinning, that and she couldn't really remember her own name. She wasn't entirely sure how she had managed to even walk up here, and if it wasn't for those arms holding her up she'd have fallen over by now. Santana looked at the person holding her up, not really being able to see who they were, he was saying something but she could make it out so just nodded. The jock, Alec, smiled brightly; he'd just asked the hottest girl, with the most social standing to sleep with him after she'd been refusing guys all night. He closed the distance between them kissing her hard. The brunette didn't get the kiss, it felt wrong and she tried to use her strength to push against him, but it didn't make a difference because he didn't feel it. Santana sort of knew she'd done this sort of thing a lot, so considering she couldn't remember anything; she started to kiss back, this spurred Alec on, who moved his hand to pull her shirt clean off of her, then moving on to cup her breasts. Unfortunately before he could move to take her bra off the door burst open, and an angry looking ex cheerleader was stood there. "You can join in too, I'm not bothered," He then noticed that the singing gay boy was with her too, "But he can't."

Quinn had pushed the door open hard not really expecting to find things as progressed as they were, she'd seen Santana topless many times. But the fact that Santana was practically unconscious and this guy still seemed to want to get his game on, "Get your filthy mits off of her Alec." The ex-cheerleader told him with venom that was never lost after she stopped being head cheerleader, and still managed to make the large footballer shake with a little bit of fear, but still not one to be outdone by a girl, "So I guess those rumours were true, she really _is_ your girlfriend."

"Oh please, Quinn is so straight it's painful to even look at her," Kurt had managed to be pulled out of his apparent fear of getting his hair messed up, he was fairly certain if he just stood behind Quinn he'd be alright. Alec however took note of how Kurt had only said Quinn, using looking between the girl he was supporting and the two in the doorway, he finally decided that this wasn't worth it, but he had gained a vital bit of usable gossip and he really did think it was true, made sense seeing as she had stopped sleeping around, and stopped making out with anyone who was there, he couldn't wait till she was sober. After making his choice he let go of the brunette who actually did fall to the floor, and pushed his way out of the room, not before whispering to the blonde, "This isn't over." Quinn couldn't help the feeling of dread that settled through her when he said it, although judging by the look on Kurt's face she was the only one who had heard, she looked around the room trying to see where the brunette's shirt had ended up, not being able to see it with her quick glance she moved to help Santana up. "Kurt find something to put on her." The small man nodded before exiting the room in a hunt for a shirt of some sort. "Britt?" The question made to blonde look down at the girl she was holding up.

She was squinting her eyes trying to get a better look at the blonde who she'd just called her girlfriend's name, before her voice sounded again only a little more sad then before, "Oh Q, it's you." She slurred, "I'm sorry," Quinn frowned not really sure what she was talking about, "San I can't leave you here, and I can't really take you home like this, so you're coming back to my place," her words were soft, she spoke slowly and carefully hoping that the girl wound understand, when she saw the nod and felt her hold onto her she knew that she was giving her permission.

Kurt returned a little later with one of Puck's shirts, this one a clean on, which would have to do, somehow between them they managed to get the near unconscious girl into Quinn's car without too many problems. Unfortunately Kurt had stayed behind, meaning that Quinn had had to struggled by herself getting the now passed out Latina into the house and into bed, without waking her mum up.


	3. Chapter 2

A/n: Sorry this took so long to get up but it was the last week at college before the holidays. I got a new job and then I've not been well, it's like every time I've sat down a written some something totally gets in the way of me finishing it at that time. I think this is more of a building chapter, like showing Quinn and Santana's relationship, let me know what you think, totally helps me if I think you guys like something or not, and totally makes me do weird cheering things when I read that someone has reviewed in my email. And I don't really know what a hangover feels like, it's like a family gene that means I don't get them but I tried my best to capture hungoverness.

Santana's head was pounding; it was the first thing that she noticed when she woke up. The second thing was that she wasn't in her bed. Which then started her panicking, trying to think if she'd done something stupid, more stupid then the alcohol that she had been throwing down her neck the night before. Truth was no matter how hard she thought she honestly couldn't remember if she had, all she knew was that this wasn't her bed, and it wasn't Brittany's either. She didn't want to force her eyes open and see her headache telling her that it would only make the pain worse if she did. The brunette still however needed to know where she was, so she did the only thing that she could do without drawing more pain, she sniffed the pillow that her head was laid on. It smelt familiar, but not something she could place, all she knew was that it was definitely a girl's bed, and Santana knew that if she'd cheated with a girl it would hurt Brittany much more than if it was a guy. That was when she felt the bed shift, whoevers bed this was, they were still in it.

"If you smell my bed anymore I might actually think that you have a crush," there was a pause, "and we both know that isn't the case." The tone wasn't mean, but it wasn't exactly friendly either, mostly because even though the girl behind the voice now understood why the brunette has been a complete bitch to her, it didn't mean that she wasn't hurt by it, they'd never been best friends in the sense that they would share secrets with each other, but they had been in a different way, they'd always been there for each other, mostly in a tear down whoever had upset the other, stuck up for each other.

"Quinn?" Santana's voice was full of fear and surprise. The fear at the current moment had nothing to do with her parents, her brain wasn't functioning enough for to think that far into the future. If she'd slept with Quinn everything would be worse, Brittany had once been worried that Santana actually did want the other blonde, and despite the odd relationship the two HBIC shared the Latina could understand why.

"You're fully clothed idiot." The blonde's soft voice told her with a playful smack to her arm. Santana slowly rolled over, opening her eyes for the first time that morning and wincing as the light hit them, she tried not to let it deter her as she lifted the covers to check that the blondes statement was in fact correct. "Why the heck am I wearing Puck's top?" Her voce coming out raspy and rough, a clear indication as to how much she'd been drinking last night. When the blonde didn't answer she turned and looked at her, "well?" Despite her head hurting she wanted answers and she wanted them now. "I think your shirt is in Puck's bathroom somewhere, I'm not too sure I wasn't there when it was taken off." Her brained started racing again which really didn't help with the hangover she was suffering with. "You didn't sleep with him." The blonde added quickly once she realised where Santana's mind had raced off to. "You were that drunk that I don't think it would have been sex anyway." Quinn had whispered, not expecting that Santana would have heard, the brunette had, but for once didn't actually have a comeback.

An awkward silence settled on the pair that were in Quinn's bed. Santana sat up leaning against the headboard, wishing she had some painkillers to at least stop her head from hurting so much, apparently Quinn could now read minds as held out in front of her was a glass of water and some aspirin. Santana took the tablets throwing them in her mouth before taking a deep gulp of water to wash them down, the awkward silence returned neither really knowing what to say. Their relationship was nothing like what it was before, the once best friends relationship couldn't even be described as a friendship anymore.

After a long time Santana broke the silence, "What happened to us?" The aspirin had set in by now and she at least could think without her head feeling that someone was using a jackhammer inside of it. "Seriously you are asking me that question?" when Santana didn't offer up a response Quinn evidentially decided to answer anyway, "You pulled out, you left our friendship, you stopped being there," Santana actually felt a tear come to her eye at the fact that she'd been ruining her friendships, "I'm still here for you." Quinn's voice was so soft it was almost angel like. The Brunette freaked though, remembering why she only ever spent post drinking days with Brittany, it always ended in her not being able to hide everything she really felt, the mask that she works so hard to keep in place during school, also disappeared when nursing a hangover. "I have to go." The statement was followed by the quick movement of the Latina climbing out of Quinn's bed.

"Wait don't you want to borrow a top or something?" The brunette paused part way through the room turning to look at the blonde girl that was still sat on the bed. "The punishment for looking like I just sleep with Puck is far better than that if I turned up in something of yours." Her eye's widened and she paled as she realised exactly what she had said. Not waiting for any kind of response from the blonde she quickly turned leaving the other girls room and her house quickly, vowing to never drink without Brittany being there again.


	4. Chapter 3

A/N So there hasn't been any actual Brittana yet, thought I'd change that, and sorry about the delay. I was going to write a second part to this chapter but then decided that this didn't need the second part with it.

* * *

Brittany had got a cryptic text from Quinn, something about needing to talk to Santana, but she had refused to go into any more detail when Brittany had tried to get her to spill. Then Santana hadn't answered any text messages or phone calls for the rest of the weekend, from either blonde – Brittany had checked. If it wasn't for the fact that she had been out of town all weekend she would have gone over and made sure that her girlfriend was okay.

But here she was Monday morning stood by her and Santana's lockers, waiting for the Latina. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't worried, it didn't matter that they didn't talk about what happened in the brunettes house, that was going to change today, the blue eyed girl knew and it was an unwritten rule that Santana, no matter how annoyed at her girl, she would never ignore a text from her, well maybe one but not thirty. Not when each one sounded more and more worried.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't notice when someone was stood next to her, not in till that person lightly rested a hand on her shoulder. The blonde girl jumped, not expecting the physical contact. "Sorry," The girl that Brittany had been waiting for murmured, her voice suggesting that the apology was about more then just causing the blonde to jump. Brittany wasn't one for controlling her excitement and upon seeing her girlfriend was indeed alive and in school today, she happily wrapped her arms around the Latina tightly. The embrace was quickly cut short the moment Brittany felt Santana flinch and hiss in pain. The Dutch girl stood back a little, feeling guilty, but not wanting to give up physical contact she took Santana's right forefinger in her hand.

Brittany took in the appearance of her best friend, there were bags under her eyes, hidden by the make up and a tiredness in her eyes, not just the type from lack of sleep. "San?" Both of them hearing the unsaid words in the question. "My Mother took my phone Saturday when I got in, and apparently they had found my other phone." Brittany's eyes widened, "It was charging and I should have hidden it better. I'd wiped the memory before the party. They don't know about us. They destroyed it though." "I'll get you a new one," the blonde nodded, the worry about the phone easing, but she knows Santana and she knew that bringing the phone up was just her avoiding the question. She gave a gentle tug on the other girl's finger. "San?" They were staring right into each other's eyes. "I'm fine." The fact that she broke eye contact with her, told Brittany that she was lying. Her heart broke a little at the lie,it broke every time she thought about what happened to her. "Don't lie to me please." Her voice cracking heavily with emotion. "It hurts, I haven't seen it, but if it's like last time then it's bad , but it'll be ok." The Latina's voice was one without emotion, Brittany knew that the only reason for that was because if she let what she was feeling out now she'd never get through the rest of the day. "Do-" The warning bell cut through the question Brittany was going to ask. "lets go." Santana told her, linking their pinkies and pulling her toward their shared first period.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N Chocolate cake is awesome, along with little sister's 18th which ends in a good amount of drinking. I'd like to thank my beta – because as awesome as I am even I need help, so a thanks to stargirl888 :D. Also I'm not sure where to do my next chapter, it'll either been Quinn and Brittany talking, or I'll skip past that, so if you want to have that conversation let me know. Have fun reading.**

Monday had been a long and painful day for Santana. Never had she been gladder that she installed enough fear into people that they made sure not to touch her. She couldn't relax in any lessons, only sitting on the front half of her chair and keeping her back as straight as possible, so as not to irritate it further. She felt bad for Brittany who spent all day just staring at her, seeming to not quite know what to do, she hated not being able to hide it from her fully. But what was harder was the looks Quinn was giving her. She knew that she'd made a big slip up the other day, but there was something more than just suspicion in that blonde's eyes, something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

It wasn't like this happened to her a lot, not that there wasn't a reason for it to, she'd just gotten good at hiding things and her parents didn't really care what time she came home, so long as they thought she spent the night at Brittany's. She'd made sure that everyone at school either feared her or had something to lose from crossing her, so that no matter what gossip was going around school it never got back to her parents. She still hadn't figured out how the Quinn rumour had leaked and it was something she was still trying to get to the bottom of even though it happened over a year ago. There was a reason she had Finn take her to a motel when they did it, although she's not sure it counts when he only went in once before erupting in the condom. As far as she knew there were only three people who definitely knew about that night, although she wouldn't be surprised if the rest of glee club had figured it out, they had a way of finding out these types of things, but they didn't seem to talk about it out side of themselves anyway.

Her father had been the one to inflict the punishment this time, it was always worse when he did it. He had used his favourite form, a whipping, and he knew exactly how to use the implement. He could make it only leave bruises, or for it to cut through the skin, every mark was exactly how he wanted it to be, from length width and depth. He'd gone for shallow cuts this time, disappointed at the fact that she hadn't even attempted to hide it, while her mother was stood there reading different passages from the Bible, she couldn't remember which now, but it was definitely about sex and how she'd sinned now. He had called her lucky that they, him and her mother, had a dinner to go to and that he hadn't had time to do any stitches, but the sad part was that she actually found herself agreeing with him? Not out loud of course, she'd never agree to his face. Another thing she'd never admit to someone's else face was that she was glad there was no Cheerios practice on Monday, just having the thought alone made her nervous as to what the Coach might do.

Santana had spent all of glee club with her fingers linked with Brittany's and head leaning on the other girls shoulder, it wasn't the least painful way to sit, but she needed the comfort that her girlfriend provided. Brittany for her part didn't say anything and just kept brushing her thumb slowly up and down the brunette's, gently placing a kiss on the top of the other girls head before leaving her own head there, her eyes locking with Quinn's who was sitting on the other side of the room. As usual Rachel was talking at speed people who didn't care had difficulty keeping up with her, and Mr Schue was trying to get them to do another one one of his choices as opposed to something, they the ones who were going to be performing it, would like. Of course he didn't notice that there was something wrong with one of his members; however he'd probably notice if it was Finn...not noticing that it was Santana did make some sense though, even when she was leaning on Brittany and showing more of herself then without singing, she was still a closed book, to those who weren't looking, but the fact that Brittany was sad should have been enough to be noticed. Apparently he was proving once again that to him it's not the teenagers themselves that he cares about but the glory he wants, and that it was about him doing it as opposed to them. But just because he was oblivious to the two didn't mean that the rest of glee club were, the difference was that the other members were still scared of getting the Latina in a bad mood. Just because she actually liked them and the club, although everyone knew she'd go down denying it, didn't mean that she wouldn't snap if pushed, and the snap on that girl was something to be reckoned with.

"Stay at my place tonight." Brittany whispered to her girl, not knowing what to do but knowing that she wanted to limit the time Santana was at home.

"I can't." The reply was quick, but not mean, and there was a hint of something strange that Brittany couldn't quite put her finger on. "I'm not allowed." she added, answering the question of why before Brittany could even voice it.

"Your parents never ground you, it's like marmalade and chocolate spread, it just doesn't happen." Brittany pointed out and Santana's face took on a confused look, but unlike normally she didn't move to look at the blonde.

Brittany didn't know how to act and Santana never expressed anything in public; all day she'd acted 'normal' apart from the brief opening up from by the lockers this morning. But now she was clearly showing everyone in the room that something was wrong and it just proved how much the sixteen year old girl thought of the club, more of a home than her own.

"You going to be all right for practice in the morning?" Brittany asked, deciding the continue the conversation.

"I don't have a choice." This caused a deeper frown to grow across the Dutch girls face, she knew it was true; they had a showcase coming up in a couple of weeks which meant extra hard, gruelling practices and the only excuse that was valid was hospitalisation, and Coach really didn't think that was a very good reason.

"I don't think we'll be able to hang out for awhile." Santana whispered sadly.

"Hmm?" Brittany wasn't sure what to say, and her mind was still thinking of ways of how to get Santana out of morning Practice. "Andre has to drive me to and from school for awhile. It was his suggestion, something to do with brother sister bonding time while he's back on leave from the army." You didn't need to be able to see the tan girl's face to know there was an eye roll. Santana's only sibling wasn't a factor Brittany knew of. She'd met him once and he'd seemed highly pleasant, but then again both of her parents seemed to be pleasant, charming people and if it wasn't for the fact that she knew that they weren't she would still believe that act they played. She really didn't like someone who she didn't know the position of. She didn't know whether she should be relieved that Santana had someone else, or scared that it was only going to get worse, and she wouldn't be able to get anything about him out of her girlfriend. Santana seemed to think that the more she kept from the other girl the more she was protecting her and there was only one word Brittany would use to describe it, bullshit!

So after rehearsal, Brittany stood just outside school watching Santana and her brother interact, and thankfully there was nothing too off about it. The Latina didn't seem to be filled with any kind of fear or awkwardness, but then again there wasn't any friendliness between them either. She stayed there watching the car drive off until she heard the door open behind her, giving away that she wasn't the only one watching. Already knowing who it was she didn't bother to turn around to look.

"What actually happened Friday night?" Brittany asked "I don't think Santana really remembers." She heard Quinn sigh behind her.

"Come back to my house so we can talk. She didn't really hang around long enough Saturday morning for me to fill in all the blanks." Quinn explained, before adding " Is she going to be okay?"

Brittany didn't even know how to answer that, so she did the only thing she could, she shrugged.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Again I'd like to thank my beta Stargirl888– who can translate the stuff that I write that makes no sense. Anyone whose reading this thanks to you, also at the end of this there is a quote, it's taken directly from one of my Bible's which is a sunrise good news translation, the book chapter and verse are mentioned down there so I wont ruin it by telling you up here. Hope you all enjoy!**

Brittany and Quinn were sitting on Quinn's bed. The shorter blond had driven since, after a lengthy discussion when they all reached the driving age, the three best friends, Brittany, Quinn and Santana all agreed that Brittany would never drive, ever, and that where ever possible the other two would drive her. It was surprisingly Brittany's suggestion, something about hating driving cars and how they lack the attention that a bike requires. There had been no conversation on the drive over, the thought of what they would be talking about killing their normal happy banter.

The Dutch girl sighed flopping backwards onto the bed. "I'm scared and I just don't know what to do." she confessed in a quiet, broken voice after half an hour of silence between them, neither really knowing where to start. Having one conversation about what had happened was completely different from talking about their fears; also there last conversation on the topic had been a surprise.

Quinn hated not knowing what to say, or how to make it better, so she gave them the only comfort she could; "I'm here for you guys, both of you." She knew Santana wasn't letting her in yet but Brittany still needed support, and she'd be there for her, and figure out what else she can do after that.

"Friday night?" Brittany asked, bringing up the original reason for the talk; now that the silence had been broken it wasn't quite as awkward to start a conversation. Quinn bit her lip lightly, thinking about the best way to start this,

"We were all at the party, I was with Kurt, not touching alcohol for obvious reasons. On the other hand Santana was having a drinking competition with herself." She heard Brittany's sad sigh but the other girl didn't interrupt her.

"A lot of the guys were hitting on her, considering she put out regularly with both Puck and Matt, but that fact that she isn't with either of them meant she was easy game."

Brittany scoffed and actually laughed at that. "I'm sorry but she's never slept with Matt, he's just an awesome guy that doesn't see the harm of letting people think they did it, he's a total lesbro to San,"

"And Puck just wants everyone to think he's getting his dick wet everywhere cos he's that much of a 'stud'." Quinn finished the sentence for her. "It didn't matter how drunk she was though, she still rejected all of them. Then she went upstairs, I'm presuming to go to the toilet, only I noticed that Alec followed, she'd turned him down a couple of times already that night and he wasn't happy."

Brittany frowned, but couldn't resist from teasing her friend, "You were watching her all night, that's sooo cute Quinnie." The blonde that was being teased could only give a half glare in response,

"Shut up. Anyway, I persuaded Kurt to come with me, though he was reluctant, I mean Alec is like Finn but with muscles."

Brittany interjected seeing the slightly nervous look that crossed Quinn's facial features, "I'm not going to like this bit am I?"

Quinn shrugged, trying to lessen the seriousness, "Unlikely." She answered the question truthfully before going on to tell the rest of the story. "By the time we got there he'd removed her shirt, he was touching her and kissing her. She didn't seem to get it or want it and the second he let go she fell. Britt?" Quinn stopped looking over at Brittany. The sight was surprisingly scary.

Brittany was fuming. Her fists clenched and knuckles turning white. Quinn though for a second that it might be directed at Santana or herself until the blond spoke. "I'm going to kill him! Cut his balls off and fly them from the flag pole!" she seethed furiously.

Despite Quinn being relieved that she wasn't going to kill her or Santana, she was still terrified at the blondes reaction. She'd never seen the normally calm, sweet, caring girl angry, and it was a hell of a lot more scary then Santana.

"Sweetie calm down, please, your scaring me." The ex-cheerleader ran a comforting hand up and down Brittany's arm softly. The taller blonde, for her part, closed her eyes and started breathing deeply.

Once Brittany was visibly calmer Quinn continued with her story, although she could still she the anger in her eyes once she opened them, albeit more controlled. "Also Alec really creeped me out, he looked like her knew something."

Brittany chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, "I'm really beginning to not like guys much at all, I still can't believe Kurt thinks I believe the square root of four is rainbows, that's not even a number." Brittany stated with an eye roll.

"You don't exactly help with that," Quinn challenged her. "though it is funny seeing everyone's faces."

"What do you think of Santana's brother?" Brittany asked suddenly and while it was true that she wasn't as dumb as everyone seemed to believe, she did however have a huge tendency to change topics with little warning for those she was talking with.

If it wasn't for the fact that Quinn had spent a lot of time with her friend she might have been much more thrown by it, however she was used to Brittany. Unfortunately the question was one that made her think, preventing a quick response.

Just before the silence got awkward again, Quinn answered the question, "He's always creeped me out, but I guess that's just because he used to leer at me." Brittany didn't know how to respond to that, the statement neither making her feel better or worse about the eldest Lopez child.

"Shouldn't we go to the police or social services or something?" Quinn asked after a moment, and Brittany shrugged, the girl had a point, but she had a feeling it couldn't come from them.

"That life is all she's ever known. Besides her parents would probably have a plan for it, her father is a respectable doctor and everyone loves them, who would the police believe them or two teenagers, maybe three if Santana feels like she can." Quinn nodded getting it, "This is really shitty."

Over the other side of town the Lopez's were sitting down for dinner. It was a rather sombre affair, Dr Lopez sat at the head of the table, his wife was opposite him, Santana on his left, Andre on his right.

Santana refused to meet either of her parents eyes whenever she was in their presence, unless they insisted, so her head was, like always, bowed. On more then one occasion, over the last year, she had thought about running away, the only thing that was stopping her was Brittany. If she had to go through this pain so that when she finally escaped she could be with her, then she would so that when she did leave it would be with nothing holding her back and she'd never have to look back at her family, or this town again.

"Santana, your brother suggested you might like to make tonight's reading. 1 Corinthians 6 v 9-10, if you wouldn't mind." Her father asked calmly.

"Yes father," she quietly said moving to pick the Bible up, searching for the right page, hoping that she wont falter on any of the words. She shivered lightly as she remembered the punishment for the last time that had happened and hesitantly started reading. "'Surely you know that the wicked will not possess God's kingdom. Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves – none of these will possess God's kingdom."


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: So I'm actually dedicating this chapter to someone; that person is Sofia who is my Valentine and this is me being nice to her ;). Also thanks to my beta startgirl888, highly helpful. And this is just because I'm all excited and nervous but I found out today that I've got an interview for university in 2 weeks!**

One week has passed since the party. Santana hadn't returned to 'normal', this wasn't something that happened after a punishment. She still kept her appearance up in the halls and Cheerio's practice, but both with increasingly less enthusiasm. It wouldn't be long before someone outside of glee noticed a change.

Inside the club she barely sang or danced any more. It was getting to the point where even the less attentive people of the club started noticing the change. Gone were her sarcastic comments. Not even mocking Rachel Berry seemed to bring out the one Santana. It was starting to unnerve them.

Brittany hadn't been able to spend a single moment alone with Santana. They hadn't hung out after school, but after Santana's warning the other day that didn't surprise her, except that it was nearly a week since then and she hadn't expected it to last that long. The only time during school that they were together were their shared classes, lunch, Cheerios and glee, and then they were always surrounded by people. Usually they either fit in time for a quickie or at least a make out session, they'd had neither.

It wasn't that that was all that Brittany wanted, but even when Santana wasn't talking, she was still into getting it on. They were both very sexual people.

Santana hated this last week. She hated the fact that her brother was breathing down her neck, that he'd changed. She used to find comfort in him after one of her parents episodes. From his straight A's, captaincy of the football team to his perfect girlfriend, he could do no wrong in their parents eyes and he had never once been subjected to any punishments. But he'd never held the same views as them, he always had told her that it was okay to be who you are.

She had always wanted to run track, but her parents wouldn't let her, they made her try out for cheer leading, and she'd had to stay in it. She enjoyed video games, especially 'shoot em ups', but her parents had once found her hidden stash of console and games and the result of which was punishment and said games all being smashed and burned in front of her.

Every part of her life was being controlled by her parents, she was never allowed to make her own decisions and it was frustrating. It never used to bother her, not until she meet Brittany anyway.

She was ten when the Dutch girl moved to town, her only female friend to that point was Quinn, who always did as her parents wanted anyway.

Brittany was a breath of fresh air. She was so free and her parents always supported her. Even when at eleven years old when she had told them that she was one day going to race motorcross; they actually got her a mini bike an taught her how to ride, helping her to join all the right clubs. Now at sixteen Brittany was one of the best under eighteens in the country.

Santana couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that she started falling for her best friend. If she had to she'd probably say from the moment they had first met.

She had always known her parents views on homosexuality. It wasn't a subject they openly talked about, but if it happened to be on a television show that they were watching, they'd make comments about how unnatural it was, and how they should all be burned at the stake.

Santana had never thought that her closeness to the other girl would ever be anything that her parents wouldn't agree with. Her parents didn't seem worried about it either, in fact they seemed pleased that Santana and Quinn had a third friend. Even from an early age her parents seemed a little dubious of her spending time with Quinn, despite the religious morals of the Fabray family.

Although Santana wasn't sure when she first had feeling for Brittany she did know when she first wanted to kiss the blonde girl. They were fourteen.

_Both of the young teens were at the blonde's house hanging out, laid on Brittany's bed watching The Lion King, and Santana would never admit it but she loved watching Disney films while Brittany would never admit to knowing about Santana's love for them. It was the scene where Mufusa died and it always made Santana cry. Of course, Brittany being the friend that she was meant that she pulled Santana into a tight, comforting embrace._

_Santana didn't bawl her eyes out any more when the scene was on but it still took a while for the tears to stop flowing. Once they did Brittany loosened the hug, but didn't let her best friend go. Santana had her eyes closed, slightly with embarrassment, but when she felt the pads of Brittany's thumbs gently wiping away her tears she had slowly opened her eyes and despite the fact that it was over the death of a character in a movie she'd seen a hundred times she could see the concern in Brittany's eyes. It made her chest ache but in a good way._

_Santana wasn't even aware of what she was doing. Her eyes were taking in the concern that was etched over Brittany's face and ended up focused on the blonde girl's lips, head inching forward._

_It wasn't until their lips ghosted together that Santana realised what had happened. It was the briefest of kisses, the faintest of touches, and truthfully, neither was sure if they actually kissed or if it was just imagined. Either way it was enough for Santana to freak out. Her eyes wide in shock as she broke out of the embrace, grabbed her stuff and left without a word. It was her first kiss, but also the kiss that prompted her to take Puck up on his offer of going out. Puck's kisses never compared to that one kiss that her and Brittany had shared._

Santana spent the following six months pretending that it had never happened. Their closeness took a knock but Santana didn't cut Brittany out of her life, and apart from that first week after it happened she didn't ignore her. Brittany seemed to just let it go but Santana now knew that Brittany had just been waiting. Apparently she'd spoken to Quinn about the whole incident and even fourteen year old Quinn seemed to be understanding.

_The six months ended when Santana turned up at Brittany's door in tears. She'd slept with Puck for the first time, and it felt so wrong. It was painful and he didn't seem to care about her, even afterwards __he had__ just started playing on his x-box, not even giving her a hug or anything, __he__ didn't even comment when she left. She'd made it out of his house before tears began falling down her face. It was nothing like she had wanted her first time to be, or how it was meant to be. Everything from TV to books all went on about how amazing it was, __yet__ it had been one of the worst __experiences__ of her life __so far__. _

___All she knew was that she needed her best friend __****__and though ____she had contemplated going to Quinn__****__, B____rittany always seemed to know what she needed. __****__A ____Part of her couldn't help __****__thinking ____Brittany would have treated her better __****__but the ____thought was pushed __****__from ____her mind as soon as she had thought it._


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: This is because I like to talk a lot, Thanks as always to my beta Stargirl888, if you've been reading my A/Ns you'd probably know that by now. I'd like to do a second thanks this chapter to anyone whose read, reviewed, alerted etc this story, I love logging into my email to see it, makes me smile a lot :)**

It was another Monday, but it was completely different to the last Monday that had passed. Santana wasn't going to Brittany for comfort; the whole of last week was spent doing that. This week Santana was now actively avoiding her girlfriend, she'd ignored her all weekend; well not completely ignored her because if she'd not answered any of Brittany's texts the blonde girl would have been worried beyond belief but all her responses had been one word messages.

Santana's brother had just dropped her off in front of the school and she now had the challenging concept of avoiding Brittany during a school day. They didn't share that many classes, but they normally spent every other available moment together.

Santana was so distracted about how she was going to get through her Spanish class first period without any of her books that she didn't notice the body of a tall jock walking her way. Not until his muscular arm was thrust into her walking path, boxing her towards the wall. "We need a little chat Lopez."

"I've got nothing to say to you Alec." The Latina said as she looked up at him before turning around to find a different way to Spanish.

"That's not what you said at Puckerman's party." The words effectively bringing Santana to a standstill.

She slowly turned around to face him, while her face had a look of horror and confusion all over it, his was covered in a smirk. Right now she really wished she could remember what had happened, if only for the fact she would at least know what shit she'd done now.

Alec had all the power in this situation and they both knew it. That was the only thing that made her turn around at walk back to him; she couldn't risk him doing anything that would cause her more problems with her family. He was too close to her brother.

However, despite her knowing he had the power she wasn't just going to lay down and do whatever he wanted. She harshly prodded one finger into his huge chest. "Listen here puckhead, I don't know what you think you know but there is nothing that you could say to me that will make me ever want to talk to you."

The passion and anger that she'd been lacking all of last week had suddenly been reignited. It felt good, and it did have the effect of making Alec's smirk falter for a second, but the fact that he recovered it so quickly worried the Latina.

Alec spare hand, the one he wasn't leaning against the wall with, came to grip firmly onto her shoulder. "Santana, Santana, Santana. I think you'll find what I have to say about your raging homosexuality, highly captivating."

He'd only whispered the words into her ear, and she'd still physically stiffened. He had no doubt that he could get exactly what he wanted from her, he just had to push the right buttons. He'd spent the last week watching her, and having other people watch her where he couldn't, and he believed he knew exactly how to play her.

"I'm guessing you don't want anything bad to happen to Brittany, so this is how it's going to work..."

Santana had ended up missing first period Spanish, a class that she shared with Quinn, who was no doubt going to inform Brittany of her absence. The mere thought of Brittany had Santana running to the nearest toilets, emptying her entire stomach contents.

The Latina felt so disgusted with herself right now that she didn't even know how to process it. There was no way she was going to go to any of her classes, she couldn't risk the chance of seeing Brittany, not even in the corridors between lessons.

She couldn't go home now, there would be hell to pay for her skipping school, she was already risking a phone call home by not going to her lessons, one she hoped she could intercept if they actually decided to call. Her only option was to spend the day hidden. With no cheerios practice, she could use there locker room to hide in and not worry about anyone entering.

She stayed in the bathroom she was in, stall locked and waiting for second period to be well under way before making her way to her soon to be hiding place.

Once in the locker room Santana found the darkest furthest corner from the door, sank to the floor and let the tears fall. She couldn't believe that she had let this become of her life.

* * *

It was ten minutes into glee club and Santana still hadn't shown. Mr Shue had just left asking them to just go through a few numbers, while he had to attend a meeting about something or another. He wasn't sure whether he'd be back before they finished or not, but begged them to use the time wisely.

Naturally, Rachel Berry had quickly capitalised on the lack of adult supervision, grabbing a dry wipe pen and quickly writing the words, 'Glee Emergency' on the board.

"While I'm fairly certain most of you will not have noticed, you all not caring about us succeeding this year as much as I do, it has come to my attention that one of us has in particular has been performing sub standard. We need to hold a 'gleevention'. That's a glee intervention."

When it became evident that no one was going to say anything, all just looking at Rachel with mild interest, some not even paying attention to her at all. "It's Santana, I think she's working for Coach Sylvester again and trying to bring us down." Rachel announced with an odd sense of pride at having figured this out.

Brittany's head whipped up quickly at the mention of Santana's name. She'd not been paying attention, because usually Rachel talked too much and had a liking for long words and whenever she did listen she got bored anyway. This time though her inattention was due to the fact that she hadn't seen Santana all day nor even received a reply to any of her text messages. If it wasn't for the fact that Quinn said she'd received a message from the girl, stating that she was fine, just didn't feel like coming to class today she'd have probably been going out of her mind worrying.

Bitch talking about Santana usually didn't have as much of an effect on Brittany because Santana was always there to defend herself, however with the Latina's prominent absence Rachel's criticism only caused Brittany's blood to boil with anger.

"How dare you!" Brittany demanded, standing up and pointing her long forefinger directly at Rachel. "She's not even here and you think she's out to get glee club! Not everyone's life revolves around this club you know!"

Rachel had physically flinched backwards, while the rest of the club watch with wide eyes and slacked jaws. Quinn was the only one to move towards the angry cheerleader. She placed a comforting hand onto her shoulder.

"Britt, you need to calm down. Yelling at Rachel, as fun as it might be, really isn't going to make you feel better."

Brittany shook her head, "No! If she didn't have her head stuck so far up her ass then she would have noticed that the way Santana had been acting really isn't her trying to bring down the club. Why the hell would she want to take down the best part of her day; or did you all forget that conversation at Sectionals last year?"

Brittany didn't wait for a response before storming out of the room. She couldn't handle talking to these people, not when they were being so thick.

* * *

Santana felt like absolute scum right about then. She'd successfully managed to avoid everyone by hiding in the locker room but every time she got a text message from Brittany and tried to respond she found herself wanting to throw up again. Eventually there was nothing left for her to up heave and even her tears had run out. She'd ended up firing a text at Quinn, who she'd not texted in almost six months, and curling up to wait out the rest of the day.

She'd battled with the idea of going to glee, but came up with the conclusion that really all it would cause is for her to hate herself more.

Just as she was about to get up and make herself look presentable for when her brother came to pick her up, the locker room door was thrown violently open. "Damn it Santana!"

She froze, thinking she'd been found, before hearing something get thrown across the room, and a defeated sign. It was only when the next words were said, this time much more quietly and clearly, that she realised the other person was talking to herself, and she discovered who the person was.

"I wish you'd just tell me what's going on. I'm scared, and the fact that you're pushing me away scares me more. Just tell me where you are."

Santana's heart broke as she heard all the emotions running through the Dutch girl's voice. The urge to run out there and tell her everything that had happened today was near overwhelming, but the fear that Brittany would hate her and the fear of what Alec would do prevented her from moving.

Brittany fell silent and a quiet had taken over the room. Neither girl spoke, The Latina remaining in her hidden corner hoping that Brittany decided to move soon. The silence was broken a moment later by a text alert going off.

Santana's eyes widened when she realised that it was her phone the noise came from. She clicked open the new message, seeing Brittany's name standing out clearly with the message below: _Where are you? I love you, don't ever forget that. xxx_

Her breath got caught in her throat when she heard footsteps moving towards her position. There was nowhere she could go that would hide her from Brittany's view. Closing her eyes she just hoped that she'd get swallowed up by the ground, which, of course, never happened.

"Have you been here all day?" Brittany's voice sounded through the room as the footsteps came to a stop.

Santana slowly opened her eyes, her gaze locking on the bare toned legs of the dancer. Not trusting herself with words she gave a nod, refusing to look at her girlfriend's face.

Brittany sank to the floor, sitting next to Santana. "I'm not going to force you to talk to me but please, I can't help you if you tell me nothing."

Santana could already tell what Brittany's face would look like if she had the guts to actually look at her. She felt like a jerk all over again. "I'm sorry. Andre is going to be here soon, I have to go." Her voice was thick with emotion, she gave Brittany's knee a quick squeeze before getting up and practically running out of the room, never once looking back at Brittany.

Brittany herself found that tears started silently rolling down her face. Something was horribly wrong and she just didn't know what.

**A/N: I didn't want to put this at the top, but I'd actually be interested in hearing all your thoughts on what's going on with Alec, I'm very curious about what you all think of it. :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks to my beta Stargirl888. I'm also doing a time jump after this chapter. Always a pleasure to hear what anyone has to say.**

Santana had stopped by one of the bathrooms in the school before getting into the car with her brother. She was in an insanely bad mood, and he was doing nothing but smirking at her. His face was really annoying her, so much so that she wanted nothing more to punch him and wipe the smirk off. She doesn't though, since doing so would end up hurting her more then him, although it is still slightly tempting when she thinks about everything she'd agreed to today.

"I've been wanting to ask you something." He said in a sickly happy voice as he threw the car into drive and started it moving. "Well not really ask, more tell you."

The younger sibling just sits staring straight through the windscreen, hands gripped tightly into fists. "You're coming with me to a talk on Saturday." His grin if it was possible seemed to only grow bigger.

Santana actually turned to look at him. "I can't, you know that I can't. We have a Cheerios performance and Coach said she'd personally kick anyone off the team if they didn't show, not unless they had a very good reason and a note from their parents." Her voice was full of anger, not just the anger she felt towards him but the anger that she was feeling towards herself and Alec.

Andre glanced at her briefly while driving. "I'd calm down if I were you. I don't think Mum and Dad would be too happy if you hit me. You're coming with me though, Mum and Dad wont know, and you're going to skip the competition and face the consequences of that by yourself."

Santana didn't understand why he was doing this. The only reason she became a cheerleader in the first place was because her parents wanted her too, and if she got kicked off she didn't want to think of what their reactions would be.

"And don't even think of not doing as I say. Trust me, I can get Mum and Dad to do whatever I want, just a little whisper to them that you've done something and well, you know what they're like."

Either she did what Andre said and faced getting booted from the cheerios and whatever her parents reaction from that was or she went to the competition and faced whatever her brother told her parents, either way ended in some form of punishment for her and the only thing that made her think that the latter would be worse was because her brother wanted her to choose him.

"You don't have to tell me now but I expect to see you in the car Friday night." His smirk seemed to grow bigger, if that was even possible. Santana knew she was in deep shit either way.

* * *

Thursday had rolled around, Santana hadn't been to glee club once this week, nor had she spoken any words to her blonde girlfriend since Monday in the locker room. Brittany was going out of her mind, and Santana always seemed to be able to avoid her. But every time she saw the brunette girl, she could tell that she was upset, scared and troubled.

Then there was Quinn, who was honestly doing her best to do whatever she could to stay strong in this whole thing, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take. There was only so much of being Brittany's only confidant that she could take, especially when the Dutch girls worries were just increasing.

Quinn knew that something had to be done, and done soon. Rachel hadn't mentioned Santana's absence from the club again, but it was only a matter of time before she did.

Santana was making her way to her new hidden lunch place when a large strong hand wrapped around her upper arm tightly, spinning her around till she was face to chest with the Hockey team captain, Alec. He pushed her against the wall, leaning down so that she would be the only one to hear his whispers.

"I'm not actually asking a lot of you so I expect that when I do ask something that you actually do it." Despite his quiet voice, it was unmistakeably harsh. "It had better be done by 4pm today. And Santana, use blueberry, it'll go real well with the red and white." He released his grip on her arm, turning and walking away, leaving Santana to bang her head against the lockers behind her, muttering, "Fuck."

Unknown to either of them their exchange hadn't been in total confidence. It hadn't been overheard, but it had been watched closely. Very closely by the ex head cheerleader, although she really didn't know what to make of the exchange.

* * *

It was 3:25pm and Santana was stood by Brittany's locker, knowing that the girl always stopped by her locker before going to glee. Her eyes were watching as her fingers played with the straw that was inside the frozen beverage that was in her hands.

She noticed when Brittany walked up to stand in front of her, but refused to look up for a few minutes. She wasn't just waiting to gain her nerve, she was hoping that if she took her time before starting then the hallway would clear a bit, which turned out to be right, if the dying noise was anything to go by.

Finally she looked up meeting the gaze of the clear blue eyes. The sight was almost enough to make her run away. She broke eye contact before quietly saying; "I'm quitting glee club." She couldn't quite believe that she'd actually said the words out loud.

Before Brittany could even think of a reply Santana launched into the rest of it, she didn't think she could go through with it is she actually heard Brittany's voice. "The reason that I've been avoiding you, is simple really, we're over, you mean nothing more to me."

She didn't even try to stop the tears that started to flow freely down her face.

Her left hand started to shake where it was holding onto the blueberry slushie. She watched as if it was someone else controlling her as her hand lifted and poured the entire contents over Brittany's head, none of the slushie was wasted.

She heard the clatter of the cup as she dropped it on the floor, heard her foot steps as she walked away, barely feeling Alec draping his muscular arm over her shoulder. The tears still flowed down her face as she knew she'd just left the only two good things in her life.

There wasn't many people left in the corridor and one of those happened to be Quinn who had seen the entire exchange, including the Santana and Alex part. She quickly but quietly made her way over to the blue stained blonde girl. Carefully, she spoke, scared of what reaction she'd get. "Lets go get you cleaned up."

"No, we're going to glee." came the surprisingly calm answer.

Quinn was shocked, but didn't have time to protest or anything as Brittany started walking in the direction of the choir room. It was hard to tell, due to the blue gunk, but Quinn didn't think that there was any tears. This calm Brittany was freaking her out.

They were late to glee, and as such everyone was already talking and planning what they should do for sectionals when they arrived. Conversation died the second they walked in to be replaced with shocked looks and hanging jaws. No one had ever slushied Brittany, mostly because Santana had threatened to beat whoever did so within an inch of their lives.

"Santana quit glee." The words broke the silence that had settled through the room and everyone started talking at once.

Most of what they were saying went straight over her head. She did however notice when Rachel said blatantly "It doesn't matter anyway, we still have 12 members, so we still qualify for competition." As though Sam actually replaced Santana's dancing ability! The comment angered her, but she couldn't find the energy to actually defend the girl any more.

Brittany left the room then, blue stained and broken hearted.

* * *

Late afternoon Friday Santana slid into the passenger seat of the car her brother was sat in. "I knew you'd see things my way." Andre commented pleasantly as he put the car into drive and slowly pulled away from the curb.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm sorry it took me forever to get this up, I'm not saying my excuses are any good but they are the truth. After writing the first page of this actually before I even posted the last chapter up, I lost all ability to write – I had a funk. Every time I looked at I could only get one line out. I got it finished in a month, and I know it's now approaching two months so here comes my next reasons. **

**One I wasn't going to post this up without it being pre read by someone so huge thanks to my friend Aiko who read through it the other day. **

**Two my mum was in hospital having surgery and well while she was there and then when she came home I've been crazy busy looking after her and the house it's surprisingly hard work.**

**So I'm sorry and I like this chapter so hopefully it makes it up to you, it's a little time jump and seriously let me know what you guess think. :)**

It was now the end of January. A lot had changed in the last few months; Santana had been kicked off the Cheerios, and was now apparently dating Alec. She'd lost a lot of weight - but then again, she didn't really have a lot to start with anyway - but Quinn had caught a glimpse of her changing before Physical Ed class yesterday. Santana was just skin and bones and it had really freaked Quinn out. She'd never really noticed till that day that Santana's clothes were just hanging off her.

Then on the other side of the spectrum there was Brittany who was acting like nothing had happened. Things had changed though; she never talked to Quinn about things that bothered her anymore and as far as the ex cheerleader could tell, Brittany hadn't spoken to anyone. She seemed to act as if Santana didn't exist, which really wasn't that hard seeing as the other girl was only seen attached to Alec's side and you had to really look to realise that it was actually the Latina girl there.

It also was surprising that Glee Club was suffering quite was much as it was without Santana. They'd only just made it through sectionals. Rachel seemed to falter half way through her speeches as if expecting to be interrupted, only for it not to happen. Then whatever Rachel had been going on about seemed to lose enthusiasm and power, almost as if she actually enjoyed bickering with Santana.

Quinn was currently sat in the cafeteria, covertly watching Santana who was sat at a table surrounded by Alec, Karofsky and Azimio. She couldn't help the wince at noticing how small Santana seemed with the three larger jocks around her.

"She looks like crap." Quinn looked up to find that Matt was sat next to her looking at the same thing she'd been, apparently she wasn't too good at being covert.

"I can't believe it took me this long to realise how bad she looked." Matt shrugged in response to Quinn's words.

"It's hard to tell. She's been slowly fading, ever since she quit Glee, dumped Britt and got kicked off the Cheerios. It's not until you actually _see _it that you realise that it's been happening. I only noticed last week when I was helping someone up who'd fallen over. It wasn't till she was on her feet in front of me that I realised that it was Santana. We need to do something." Matt confessed.

Quinn moved her look to the other side of the room, to the table Brittany was sat at. Brittany was laughing talking a long with the rest of the cheerleaders. "I think _she's _the only one that can get through to Santana."

"She misses her. She gets this look in her eye when she thinks no one else is looking, it's one filled with sadness and a little lost." At Quinn's confused look Matt went on to explain. "People don't notice me a lot, I'm quiet and sometimes it has the effect of making even those who I'm friends with forget I'm around, and I like to watch people."

"So how do we get this to work? Brittany is pretending Santana doesn't exist and Santana, besides ignoring Brittany, is always surrounded by a jock, almost like she's under guard. How are we meant to get them together?" Quinn wasn't sure how it was going to work, even if they managed to get Brittany on side they still had to get Santana away from twiddle dee, twiddle dumb and Alec.

"We're going to need the rest of the glee club to pull this off." He informed her with a mischievous smile on his face.

"I still think this is a bad idea." Kurt muttered as half the club, mostly the female half, sat in the middle of the Cafeteria.

"Would you rather swap places with Finn? Or Noah? Or Mike? Or Matt?" Rachel challenged him, with a raised eyebrow.

After an emergency Glee meeting, hosted by Quinn and Matt, Rachel had been feeling rather shameful about her thoughts towards Santana. She knew that Quinn knew more then she was letting on, but the fact was; Santana was miserable. Looking at her now you could tell, and they all agreed that they only person who'd get through to her would be the blonde girl that hadn't been included in the meeting; Brittany.

Mercedes was watching Quinn who was by the door. Their eyes met when Quinn saw what she needed from outside, and then with a quick nod from the blonde girl, Mercedes turned back to the rest of the group. "Let's get this show on the road."

The small group all stood and started moving around the cafeteria, it wasn't till they all climbed on to a different table around the room did the rest of the student body actually started paying attention to them. It probably had something to do with the fact that several trays of people's lunches had ended up kicked onto the floor.

They stood waiting for something, there were some angry yells from those who had their lunches knocked onto the floor or their laps. They just ignored them, and even the orders for them to get off the table from the cafeteria staff. None of them could suppress the small smiles that drifted over their faces when they heard the starting beat to the 90's pop song that they were going to sing drift through the tannoy system, which Artie had managed to get into the office to hook it up to.

It wasn't going to be perfect but that wasn't the point. They'd even managed to learn most of the dance moves that went with the song. Rachel took the first verse some people seemed to recognise it but it wasn't until they all joined in for the chorus did most people realise that this song was, S Club 7's 'Reach for the Stars'.

With most people watching the different members of the club performing the song, no one really paid any attention to the boys of the glee club walking into the cafeteria, all carrying a big cup of slushie.

In fact Karofsky, Azimio, Alec and Santana all didn't realise that the boys were heading in there direction until the frozen beverage was thrown in their faces. The three jocks lept to their feet and gave chase to the glee members that had already turned to run.

Seeing the chase start many of the other members of the student body also started running after the group wanting to see what would happen.

During the mad rush of students moving around, Santana found a firm but gentle grip being taken on her arm and being led away.

When the 'attack' happened, she'd had her eyes open which meant that the slushie had gone right into them. Which also meant that the burning was at its worse. But also, it meant that it had dislodged her contacts so even if she could hold her eyes open without the intense burning, everything was completely blurred. Truth was she didn't really care who was leading her or where they were going. For the month after her dumping Brittany, her ex-girlfriend hadn't just accepted it. She'd kept trying to get Santana to talk to her, which Santana kept ignoring and then there came the point where the small Latina was never alone and Brittany couldn't get near her at all. The only thing that had actually gotten the Blonde to back off was the small note she found in her locker written by Santana telling her that if she didn't back off, the results of her actions would be severe. If it hadn't been for the 'please, for me' it probably wouldn't have worked.

Quinn had been the one to get Santana to move with her. She'd actually thought that it would have been a lot harder than it had turned out to be. She felt bad for getting the girl covered in the icy drink, but it was the only way that they thought that they'd be able to get her to come with them.

Her hand moved from Santana's upper arm down to holding onto her hand. A surprised smile sprung on her lips when Santana actually griped it, instead of pushing it away.

Santana wasn't entirely sure what made her hold the hand. But if she had to she thought that it might have something to do with the fact that, this person - who she suspected was Quinn because she knew Brittany's hands - was being gentle with her. Being gentle was something that she didn't have in her life right now, for which she could only blame herself for. She couldn't see but it didn't matter because she still, despite what many may think, trusted Quinn. Trusted her enough to let her lead her somewhere anyway.

They eventually stopped moving, and Santana guessed that they were in one of the bathrooms that ran through the school - if the running tap was any indication. The hand holding hers let go and she heard movement followed by whispers, then footsteps and then the door opening, closing and locking.

Whoever was still in the room moved her using light touches towards the running tap. She felt someone gripping the underneath of her ruined top. Before it was carefully and slowly pulled up and off her. It was when she heard the audible gasp that she realised exactly who was the one in the bathroom with her.

Brittany hadn't been able to hold off her surprised gasp at seeing underneath Santana's shirt for the first time in months.

After Santana's written request to actually leave her alone, they only way that she'd been able to do it was to pretend that Santana wasn't there. It was difficult at first, but eventually it just became a routine. She had to slightly distance herself from Quinn, which hadn't made it easier.

Looking at the girl now she hated herself for listening to her and backing off. Things had clearly gotten worse, whether it was her parents weren't feeding her enough or that she herself stopped eating properly.

She'd had no idea why Tina had insisted that they'd go to this bathroom, it was so out of the way that barely anyone used it, which meant that the staff sometimes forgot to restock the toilet paper. But now she guessed that it had everything to do with Santana being dragged in here by Quinn, who told her to sort it out, dropping a cloth in her hands before leaving with Tina and locking the door.

Brittany just focused on cleaning the Latina up. Talking right now would probably make everything more awkward and weird. She knew Santana knew it was her, if the way to girl body tensed after her gasp was any indication to go by.

Santana had just stood there while Brittany washed her, hair and all. She wanted to burst in to tears when she felt the blonde's fingers ghosting across the couple of new scars that had appeared on her back. Even though the touch was gentle and soothing she could tell there was anger in the girl. She just didn't know who it was Brittany was angry at.

She removed her contacts, there was no way she could wear them for the rest of the day, it would be far too uncomfortable and her vision would just be somewhat similar to as if she wasn't wearing them anyway.

Brittany was holding out a tee shirt that she had on her. Pulling it on all Santana could smell was Brittany, which wasn't that surprising considering that the shirt belonged to the other girl. Also because of this it was slightly to big for her and had the effect of making it more noticeable that she'd lost weight.

Santana just managed to hold off throwing herself into Brittany's arms when she felt a glasses case being pressed into her hands. It was the case that she always kept at Brittany's house.

"I've been carrying them around. At first to give them back to you, you always said they were your favourite pair, and then because I needed something of yours with me. I know it's lame." Brittany whispered while Santana had slid the glasses on. For the first time since the slushie in her face she was able to see properly.

Brittany's words - coupled with the fact that Brittany was no longer a blurred blonde, red and white blob - had the effect of making Santana do what she'd been doing best recently; running away.

She didn't get far, the door was still locked and if Quinn and Tina were still stood outside they were not making any move to open it and let either girl out. Santana pounded on the door, trying to get anyone that might be in the area to let them out. It was a failed attempt and ended in all the emotions that she'd been running from since cutting Brittany out catching up with her. The pounding subsided as she sank to the floor crying into her knees.

Brittany made her way over, sitting on the floor next to her, unsure whether or not she should touch Santana. Slowly she moved her hand out as if to place it on the other girls shoulder, but she grew nervous and couldn't bring herself to actually make contact, so she left her hand hovering awkwardly above Santana's shoulder. Or it would be awkward if there was anyone there to see it.

After a couple of minutes where Santana showed no sign of stopping. Brittany had to think to herself, why the heck she was being so awkward about this. She didn't really get long words, but she knew how to touch people, and not just sexually.

She shoved her fears aside and let her hand genitally, in a comforting manor rest on Santana. The repercussions from the small gesture completely shocked the blonde.

Santana's feelings were overwhelming her. Being stuck in a room with the one person that without even trying could break through all her defences. Then she touches her and part of her hates her for doing it, hates her for making her feel and remember what she threw away. Hates her for reminding her how much she needs the girl. There are two clear reactions from this, one; she cries harder, two; she throws herself into Brittany's arms, finding in them the comfort that she's been wanting, needing, for so long, but had been forced into giving up.

Sometimes she wondered if it was worth it, was being on the good side of her brother and therefore her family worth the price of actually living? Recently, she coming back more and more with the answer; no, it really wasn't.

Brittany wasn't sure how long they sat there for. But if the numbness in her butt was anything to go by, it had to be a fairly decent amount of time. Santana had stopped crying a while ago, but she was still gripping onto Brittany as if her life depended on it, head buried into the crook of her neck. She just kept running her fingers through the Latina's damp hair, her other arm protectively wrapped around her tiny waist.

"I'm done with us being done, right now I don't care if were together or not. I love you, but you're still my best friend and that's way more important. Santana, I'm sorry for letting you go, for not trying harder. We're bunking the rest of the day, you're coming to my place and you're going to eat a proper meal okay?" Brittany broke the silence with softly whispered words, her hand lightly running up and down Santana's spine.

"It's not your fault, it's really, really not your fault Brittany. I pushed you away. I'm always pushing you away, but I'm going to stop. I'll try, because I really need you." Santana's voice was pitiful and broken and the sound of it just cracked Brittany's heart.

"I'm so yours."


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: This had been only reread by me, so sorry about the mistakes. I'm seriously putting a warning here, this really isn't a happy chapter, as in there is talk about suicide and I felt the need to warn you all before reading it as I know for some people that it's not something they want to stumble across, I had to stop writing and go hug my younger sister and sit with my mum for a bit just to get my head straightened out again. Thanks to everyone whose let me know what they think really does make me smile, hope you enjoy, and the end is in sight now... Let me now what you think. Thanks for reading :) Honestly don't know how long it'll take for the next chapter cos college is back and it'll be my birthday in two weeks all leading to some serious business on my part, sorry.**

Santana nervously sat at Brittany's kitchen table, head leaning against her arms. She knew that coming with Brittany was stupid, not stupid because she didn't trust Brittany, but stupid because somehow her brother would find out that she had been there, whether it be through Alec and his 'army' of jocks, or by some other means. Then when he found out she knew that he'd tell there parents something, anything that would mean she'd be in for it, and she knew this time it would be worse, because the other times he persuaded them to do something, they were all him showing her what he could do.

Even when he wasn't home he had a terrifying amount of power over her. Either using his warped friendship with Alec to control her in school, or his 'perfect son' routine that had their parents wrapped around his finger.

Neither girl had spoken a single word to each other after they left the bathroom, not that Santana did much talking there to begin with. Brittany had called Quinn and somehow managed to reassure her that it was 'sorted', Santana recalled thinking if this whole situation could ever be sorted.

But since being released by Quinn, who did at least have a sheepish look on her face, getting into Santana's car, parking the car at Santana's house to then walk to Brittany's from there, to now; being sat at the Pierce's kitchen table. The house was silent, which was unusual, but as Brittany's younger sister was still at school and her mum at work it wasn't the surprising.

Brittany sat debating how to successfully feed Santana. She couldn't cook anything, her mum had banned her from using the oven and the microwave and making her a sandwich really wasn't good enough right now. Which left one option – takeout. So while Santana sat sorting through her feelings Brittany sat opposite her sorting through takeout menus trying to find one that was; A) open and B) Something Santana would like.

A few minutes later Brittany finally settled on Pizza. It was the only food, besides breadsticks that Santana didn't have to be in a certain mood to eat. Silently slipping out of the room Brittany called and ordered two large pizzas, one; cheese the other; pepperoni.

Once the order had been made Brittany made her way back into the kitchen, taking place on her stool again. She knew it was difficult for Santana, somehow the girl had agreed to come here with her. It was a huge up on the way everything had been going lately. If Quinn had told Brittany about the idea before locking her in a bathroom with her ex she'd have expected that talking to the girl would have resulted in getting a smack in the face. She wasn't about to start pushing now, she'd take what she could get and hope that Santana let her in enough to help.

"I ordered us some pizza in. You're going to eat it. If you don't I'll call Rachel and get her to bring her smurf family over to annoy you till you do."

Santana had never been more glad about Brittany's ability to know when to drop the serious stuff and just be frank. With a small smile, something that felt so alien to the brunette, she replied, "Berry's not a smurf Britt."

After gaining a reaction from the very quiet girl, Brittany decided to go full out on her next comment; "Nuh uh, she totally is, I once saw her going into the bathroom all blue and wet. Clearly it rained and her make up washed off showing her true smurf self underneath."

The serious look and way that Brittany had said her theory had the Latina seriously believing that Brittany thought what she was saying was right. Santana only realised that she did not, due to the glint that was in her eye and how the corner of Brittany's mouth twitched as if to smile. The relief, from knowing that she didn't believe it and the humour from the statement had Santana laughing a fully bellied laugh.

She abruptly stopped when she actually heard the sound of it, having not laughed in such a long time the sound was actually foreign to her own ears. Which in turn caused another awkward silence to spring up between them. This one was broken by the door bell which signalled the arrival of the pizza.

* * *

They'd finished eating, Brittany wasn't completely satisfied with how much Santana had eaten – it was at least half of what she used to eat when she was over, but at least it was something.

After shoving the left over pizza in the fridge Brittany found the brunette sat on her sofa deep in thought. Eyeing the spot next to her, Brittany quietly and genitally sat down.

Santana who hadn't been used to people being near her without some sort of agenda flinched when she felt someone sit close to her. It wasn't because it was Brittany, she was so far in her own thoughts that she had completely forgotten where she was.

"I'm sorry." The words were quick to leave Brittany's mouth as she started to move to sit in a different chair in the room, mentally berating herself for being so stupid.

"No!" Santana's sudden outcry surprised both girls, "Don't please. Can you just hold me? Please?"

Her voice sounded so lost and broken that it made Brittany just want to cry it broke her heart that much. She settled back onto the sofa and as Santana moved and curled into her she wrapped her arms around the small frame that belonged to her best friend.

A few moments of silence passed where Santana just listened to Brittany's heart beat from where her head was pressed to the blonde's chest. "Alec made me dump you. At first he threatened that he'd hurt you. I don't think he meant physically, but he definitely mentioned slushie's, dumpster diving, whirlies, patriotic wedges and I couldn't let all that happen to you just because you were with me."

Brittany wanted to just interrupt her so much and tell her that she didn't care, she would have been able to take it all and more but knew that Santana was talking and if she was seriously talking she wasn't about to interrupt her and maybe result in her closing up again. So she settled for slightly tightening her arms, making sure Santana knew she was there and she wasn't about to just let her go.

"The competition I missed was because Andre took me to these homophobic talks, about how unnatural and wrong it is. He even made me have a one to one with one of the priests. The whole thing just made me feel like so much crap, that like I really wasn't worthy and that my parents have been right all along, and then on the way back home, he told me that Alec was his eyes and ears for him while I was at school, that anything I do he'd know and that if I didn't do what either he or Alec told me then he'd say something to our parents and I'd get a punishment, when we got back he proved he could do it."

Both girls where quietly crying, tears pouring down their faces. Santana was preparing to tell more to Brittany, she needed to say it, because she knew if she didn't do it now then she might never get the courage to do it again, and Brittany needed to know, had to understand what's been going on through the last couple of months. She felt so safe in Brittany's arms, on her sofa, it made her feel protected.

"I couldn't eat properly not without feeling sick. A couple of weeks ago I stole, I thought about.." Santana's voice drifted off as she buried her head into Brittany's chest. A few deep breaths later Santana managed to whisper what she meant to say quietly into the wet shirt she half hoped that Brittany wouldn't hear her. "Ending it all."

Despite Brittany not saying anything, Santana knew she had heard, she knew because she heard when Brittany's heart actually skipped a beat, and she felt Brittany's arms hold her closer as if she'd disappear at any moment. She knew Brittany didn't know what to say and she had to keep talking because she was only going to tell all this once.

"When I was sitting there staring at the bottle I'd taken from my dad, thinking, and then I saw the picture of glee club from Sectionals last year, how happy we all looked, I looked and I remembered the pledge I made myself, that one day it would get better one day I'd escape them, with you. I knew that if I gave up now then what was the point, I still knew there was no way I could talk to you, not with the limited control I used to have over my life being taken away from me by Andre. I just had to hope that you'd still be there in another year and a half. But Britt I can't wait that long any more, not after today not after this. I need you too much."

It was clear that Santana had finished her talk which meant that Brittany had to say something. Well she didn't have to, she could tell that Santana wasn't expecting her to say something she just felt the need to say something. "I'm never going anywhere, never again, I don't care how hard you push I'm not letting go." Her voice sounding so odd to her own ears, she'd never heard herself sound so upset and serious all in one. She'd also never wanted to hurt anyone as much as she now wanted to with everyone who'd been hurting _her_ Santana.

"I can't go home Britt."

"You're always allowed to spend the night, you know that."

"No Britt, I mean ever."


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: This chapter is happier then the last one and as a birthday present to you guys (it's mine on Sunday) It has some awesome Brittana goodness ;) So enjoy and well I'm always happy to hear your thoughts and feelings. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted and favourite, it's the best thing to see clogging up my inbox! This has only been reread by me once so sorry about the mistakes.**

A few hours had passed since the girls had their conversation, both of the them had drifted asleep in their positions on the Sofa. Santana was curled right into Brittany, head buried in the taller girls chest, both hands fisted tightly, as if her life depended on it, into the girl's shirt. While Brittany had her arms protectively wrapped around the smaller girl's frame.

Brittany was the first of the two to wake up. At first it was too complete confusion, she couldn't work out why there was something on her or why she had been asleep on the sofa either. As her sleepiness wore off she remembered what had happened at school then the conversation that she and Santana had shared. At the memory of the Santana's confessions she couldn't help the way her arms tightened around the girl in her arms.

The next thing she noticed was that there was now a blanket covering them, which could only mean one thing, her mum was home. That thought worried her slightly. Santana had said she didn't ever want to go home, for Brittany this felt like a break through, if she was away from that house then she'd be able to protect her so much easier. The only problem was Santana had to live somewhere else. Her mum wasn't unreasonable and Santana had spent a lot of time in their house, she just didn't think even her mum would let the girl move in without an explanation, and that wasn't something Brittany was able to provide. It was completely Santana's choice as to whether or not her mum knew what was going on or why.

She'd already broken Santana's trust once by telling Quinn – not that Santana knew. She wasn't about to do it again, especially with someone who'd not only want to but actually try and do something and no matter how much she wanted to tell her mum everything and have her sort everything out, she knew she couldn't. She knew she had to let Santana get there herself – if she ever could.

Realising that she at least needed to have somewhat of a conversation with her mum about Santana staying, at least for now with no pressure. Brittany tried to disentangle herself from the sleeping girl, only for the girl to hold onto her tighter and have Santana's face change into a scared expression. Sighing in defeat, she wasn't going to wake her up, she settled back down, smiling when the Latina's face became peaceful again.

* * *

It was a while later when Brittany was dragged out of her daydream when Santana suddenly woke with panic written all over her.

"Hey, shh, it's alright I'm here." Brittany cooed as she rocked back and forth – that helped right? Always seemed to in the movies anyway.

"Why is Sanny sad?"

Brittany looked up seeing her little sister staring at the pair, she hadn't noticed when Heather had walked in, and she wasn't sure how she was meant to answer the question. She obviously couldn't tell the younger girl the real reason – their we're numerous reasons as to why not, but she couldn't say nothing. "She's sad because she missed me." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Why where has she been?" The little girl asked as she moved closer to the pair on the sofa.

"A bad, sad place Heath." Santana had answered before Brittany could have thought of some other answer that would probably have just caused the youngster to ask more why questions.

"Heather! I though I told you to leave the girls alone." The voice of the eldest Pierce came through the room, causing all three occupants to look over to where she was stood in the doorway.

"Santana, its lovely to see you again dear. Would you be staying for tea this evening?"

"Mum we need to ask you something." Brittany had a really nervous look on her face, it was due to She hoped that Santana would tell her mum the real reason and then it'd really be okay, but with that there came to she was nervous about how her mother would receive the information. Then there was if Santana lied, which was more then likely, her mum wasn't going to just let her stay there forever without the truth.

Being the perceptive woman she was, Liz immediately picked up on the nervous energy that was coming in waves from the two teenagers. "Heather dear go upstairs and play in your room for a bit, I need to have a chat with the girls."

With much grumbling and protesting Heather slowly made her way out of the room and up the stairs, leaving the three in a silence as they waited for the tell tale noise of Heather's bedroom door being closed.

"Can Santana stay here for awhile?" She asked with a nervous look at the girl that was still in her arms, waiting for her mothers question of why.

Surprisingly it was Santana that spoke; "My parents have gone on holiday and I don't want to stay in the empty house by myself."

"Okay." Came the response from the older woman, "You can stay a week, but if you need to stay longer you're going to have to tell me the real reason." She let them both know that she knew that they were lying, she had no idea the truth was as bad as it was, she thought that maybe Santana's parents had found out about the girls relationship and had kicked her out – The Lopez's held crazy values like that.

They spent the rest of the afternoon curled together on the sofa watching Disney films, Heather had joined them half way through and laid half on top of the two girls, wanting to feel apart of the whole thing.

When they finally ate, Liz had cooked chicken pie, they all sat around the table, conversation was easy and light and Santana found herself smiling again, she'd always felt jealous of Brittany's family but mostly she felt lucky that despite her absence, they pretty much accepted her as a member of their family.

Both Brittany and her mother noticed that Santana barely managed to eat half of what was on her plate, but neither commented on it, both storing it away, Brittany thinking of how she could get Santana to eat more, Liz to remember to watch the girls food intake the entire time she was there, it could just be a one off, but she was looking smaller then she remembered her to be.

Later that night Santana sat in Brittany's bed, wearing a pair of Brittany's sleeping shorts, which to some people too short to be given the title shorts and one of the dancers large work out tee's, which actually ended up covering more of her thighs then the shorts did.

Brittany, who was stood by the end of the bed, checking through her phone, was wearing a pair of her shorts and a tight fitting tank top that honestly made Santana mentally drool at being able to see this much of her again.

"I have a confession to make." It was whispered as she moved to sit on her side of the bed, Santana didn't verbally respond just gave a slight nod to let the other girl know she was listening. "I told Quinn about your parents. About six months ago now. I'm sorry."

Brittany had spoken with such honesty and truth that Santana knew she meant her apology, knew she was genuinely sorry for telling her. If Santana had known Quinn knew back before Andre had started meddling she probably would have been pissed beyond belief, but now, knowing that if Quinn hadn't interfered the way she had today she'd be in her house hoping she hadn't done anything 'wrong' and all alone. She could probably guess that the only reason that Quinn was an interfering bitch was because she knew something.

That didn't mean that she wasn't disappointed that Brittany had betrayed her trust, she was, she just didn't have the energy to fit about it. "I'm not angry, I'm just upset that you told her without asking me. Promise me you wont do that again?"

"San, don't make me promise that. Not when I don't want to. The best I can give you is that if you're safe and I know where you are I wont say anything, but if I don't know where you are or you're not safe, I'm telling whoever I have to to make you safe again. Okay? Deal?"

"Deal." She had taken her time with answering, but realised this was the best she'd get from Brittany and she'd best just take it while she could.

As Brittany climbed fully into bed and snuggled with Santana as the girl moved into her arms. "Q is driving us to school in the morning."

* * *

Only a couple of hours later Santana had woken, being at Brittany's meant she was safe from her parents for now but they still haunted her in her sleep, the worry of what they would do if she didn't come home again tonight or the night after and the worry of what will happen when Andre finds out. She just couldn't sleep after that.

When Brittany woke up her bed was empty and for a moment she was worried that Santana had left and gone home despite what she said the day before. As she rubbed the sleep out of her face her eyes focused and she noticed that Santana was still in the room. She was sat on the window sill staring out at the dark sky outside in town. Santana seemed to be in her own world and as such hadn't noticed Brittany waking up, who then used it as an opportunity to really look at her; since there talk lunch time the day before Brittany hadn't had time to just sit and look at Santana. Look at her without her knowing, when her defences are completely down. You could see that toll everything had taken on her, between her slumped shoulders and defeated way she was sat, and despite Brittany knowing that she wasn't completely the same girl that she had fallen in with, she knew that she was a lot more floored now and had so much more baggage that may never leave her, she still couldn't help but marvel at home gorgeous the girl looked – she did need to put on at least a stone in weight, but she was still breathtaking.

"What time is Quinn picking us up at?"

Brittany jumped when Santana spoke to her, she hadn't even turned her head or anything when she spoke so Brittany had no idea that she even knew she was awake. With a pout on her face – it was almost pointless considering Santana wasn't even looking, she answered, "How did you know I was awake?"

A smile tugged at Santana mouth, "You stopped snoring." The smile spread into a grin when she heard Brittany's huff.

"I do not snore!" Came the response from the girl. As Santana wasn't looking she didn't see the cushion that was sent softly flying towards her. When it connected with the back of her head Santana spun round, staring directly at Brittany, who was now kneeling on her bed with a shy smile on her face.

"Oh it's soo on." The dancers smiled widened at the words, sounding so much like the old Santana, only to have her smiled change into an expression of pure shock when the Latina's smaller frame came crashing into her, a shriek of shock escaping her lips as she landed on her back with Santana straddling her hips pinning her hands into the mattress. Santana's face is only inches from Brittany's and it's only then that they both realise exactly what position they are in.

It was a split decision, one that surprised the girl underneath her, who was sure she'd run away again. But she didn't instead Santana's lips crashed against Brittany's – it wasn't soft and gentle, it was hard and needing but exactly what both girls needed. It didn't take long for tongues to start battling, although it wasn't a battle for dominance. Santana moved her hands, letting go of Brittany's lightly trailing her fingertips along the taller girls bare arms, sending tingles through out the girl's body. She ended up with one hand cupping her face and the other lightly tangled in blonde locks.

Brittany's hands didn't remain where they were once Santana released them, one hand ended up cupped the back of the smaller girls neck while the other moved down and slipped underneath the shirt that Santana hand on. The dancer thought that there was too much distance between their bodies and so used her hand that was on Santana's bare skin of her lower back to pull the girls body down and onto hers, moaning at the bodily contact.

Things were heating up between the pair really quickly, they could both feel the other's heart beating fast and hard in their chests. Breaths became laboured as Santana started to kiss and nip at the blonde's pale neck. Only for Santana to jump off Brittany when she heard a knock on the door that was quickly followed by a; "Girls, breakfast is ready."

Santana glanced at Brittany as her heart rate slowed down. While looking she noticed something on the girls neck, causing her to smirk. "Sorry Britt." She apologised before quickly moving out of the room and down to breakfast. Hearing Brittany call; "For what?" After her.

* * *

"You're such a vampire."

"You weren't complaining at the time Britt." Although by now the relaxation that she had gotten from; getting her 'mack on' and 'breakfast with the Pierce's' had been worn away by the complete nervousness of going in to school today.

"That's because you have like a magically talented mouth." Brittany had been leaning it to place a kiss to Santana's lips when the door bell interrupted them, causing both of them to let out groans of disappointment. "Come on that'll be Q, and we like really owe her for yesterday." The taller girl said as she moved away from the Latina.

Santana actually answered the door and upon seeing Quinn slapped her around the face, causing both blondes to look utterly shocked at what had happened, but before either of them could say or do anything Santana had pulled Quinn into a bone crushing hug. Quinn carefully hugged the girl back while giving Brittany a 'What the hell?' look over Santana's shoulder.


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N:Sorry about time taken on this. I've been busy, but I'm getting there and totally not giving up, I do want to get this all finished up before I move house in August so that is my aim. Happy reading.**

Santana was sat in the back of the car with Brittany, while Quinn drove. Quinn was explaining her plan, she'd gotten a copy of Santana's schedule and also a copy of every Glee club members schedule too and made a list of who was going to be with her when, everyone had agreed, some with more reluctance then others. People like Kurt, Rachel, Artie and Tina all had a jock paired with them.

Santana was worried about what might happen, she knew Alec was reporting to her brother and it wouldn't take long for this to get back to him, but it was only her parents at home. Her brother was on base which meant he was at least a days travel away from her.

As if she could sense her fear Santana felt Brittany weaving their fingers together, giving her hand a light squeeze. The contact served the purpose of comforting her and bringing her back out of her own head.

"No." She said it quietly but strongly. She could feel Quinn's eyes on her through the rear view mirror, and could see Brittany openly looking at her with a confused look. "I appreciate it, I really do, don't get me wrong, it's just. I spent these last months never being left alone, I couldn't pee without someone waiting for me on the other side of the door, in fact if I took too long I'd get a phone call.

"I know you guys are just trying to help and it's amazing, but I need to be free. I'm not saying I wont hang out with you. But there is no way I'm spending time with Wheels or Asian fusion, well Mike's not that bad, and definitely not with the Hobbit outside of a Glee group thing. So no one is going out of their way." She crossed her arms over her chest, signalling her defiance on the matter.

"I hate how stubborn you are." Quinn muttered under her breath from the drivers seat, while Brittany tried to talk the girl out of it. "Honey I just want you to be safe." Brittany said with her best puppy dog eyes and pout.

The Latina just shook her head and put her hand on the girl's face, pushing it so she was looking elsewhere. "Don't look at me like that. I need this control." The last part was whispered, it wasn't that she cared if Quinn overheard or not, from what Brittany had said, Quinn pretty much knew everything anyway. It was more that she felt nervous saying the words herself.

Taking the hand on her face into her own and moving it away, Brittany gave a nod before leaning forward and giving Santana a peck on her lips, which turned into two pecks, which turned into a deeper kiss which ended up with Brittany moving out of her seat belt and genitally pushing against her; best friend? Girlfriend? (It hadn't been spoken about yet.) Into a heated make-out session with hands roaming and little moans and Quinn desperately trying to get them to stop while driving carefully.

* * *

The impromptu make-out session was a good distraction for Santana from her worries and nerves, mostly because all she could think about was Brittany's tongue down her throat and her hand that was caressing her breast through her shirt.

Unfortunately the state of 'calm' didn't last past disentangling and getting out of the car. Santana seemed to bolt around to the other side of the car and fuse her hand to Brittany's, the second Quinn had turned the engine off and they'd been getting out of the car. Brittany was the only thing right that moment that was stopping her from freaking out. "Can we go in the side entrance?"

Brittany and Quinn both looked over towards the main entrance, but from the distance they couldn't make out who was there, just that there were some people hanging around in letterman jackets. Both blondes seemed to come to the same conclusion that that was where Santana used to enter her day under guard. With a squeeze to her hand from the dancer and Quinn moving to link arms with her on the other side, the three of them made there way into the school from the less used entrance. Mostly because it was really out of the way and no matter what way you came to school in the morning it was quicker to use the main entrance. The side entrance was also the only wheelchair entrance in the school, which was just typical of Figgins.

Santana couldn't help but start nervously glancing around, she didn't know what to expect, but she was half expecting someone to jump out at her and drag her away, either turning her over to her brother or turning her over to her parents. Her hands were starting to get sweaty, which made her want to stop holding onto Brittany's hand, but she also knew that it'd be worse if she did. Once again Brittany seemed to be able to know what she was thinking and started lightly stroking her hand with her thumb. She also gave her a small smile, letting her know she wasn't going anywhere. As they moved onto the corridor which had all their lockers on. Quinn broke away to move to her own which actually half panicked the Latina and made her want to change her mind about saying no back in the car, but she knew she wouldn't, she was too stubborn sometimes.

Opening her locker was surprisingly difficult and actually ended in Brittany having to spin her combination in, due to the shakes that her hands had taken up after they had let go of each other's hands. Brittany didn't bring attention to the fact that Santana was quietly freaking out, knowing that by doing so it'd make her worse. "What do you have now?"

After a pause, that was needed to remember what lesson she actually had. "History, with Quinn and Manhands." Shortly following the statement her History text book was placed into her hands. The warning bell went off and Quinn appears at their side as the hallways starts to empty.

"I'll see you at lunch Britt." Giving her a look that clearly said; 'don't you dare go out of your way to see me before then.' She could tell that the dancer really wanted to do something to show that even though they were going to be separated she wasn't leaving her, and that was when Santana knew she had to change something, do something that was brave, because she knew that even Brittany would have her limits. Beside knowing how stupid her next move was, she just couldn't find it in herself to care. It wasn't like she could make anything worse then it already was. With her free hand, the one that wasn't holding onto her history textbook. She cupped the back of Brittany's neck and bought the cheerleader's head down to her level and firmly pushed their lips together. It was short but filled with feelings. Leaving Brittany speechless and mouth slightly hanging open.

It wasn't till she looked back down the hallway just before her and Quinn turned the corner, to look at Brittany as she was walking away that she realised how big of a mistake her action could have been. While looking down she noticed Alec stood at the end of the hallway, arms crossed, and a deep, dark look on his face. One that told her that she had just added fuel to the fire. The fear that had been in her since getting out of the car, doubled and if it wasn't for Quinn's arm through hers she was sure that she'd have ran and kept on running.

* * *

It was second period, a class she didn't share with any of the Gleeks, she wasn't able to concentrate on her work and found her gaze shifting from the words on the board to outside the window, where her eyes found Alec. The look she was getting was making her feel sick so sick that she actually had to go before she throw up all over her desk. "Mr Newth, I think I'm going to be sick." He didn't even question it, just threw a hall pass at her, as she left the room. Once outside she actually sprinted to the nearest toilets and throwing everything in her stomach into the bowl. After a while she managed to flush the loo and rinse her mouth out. Washing her face off, trying to calm down. He couldn't do anything in school, there were to many people around. At least that was what she thought. She didn't know how wrong she was.

Leaving the bathroom once she had calmed down sufficiently to return to class. She found herself pushed roughly into a set of lockers, a muscular forearm pushing against her neck, pinning her to the lockers, but not hard enough to actually cut off her airway. "You've been a naughty girl."

Shivers ran down her spine when she heard the word whispered in her ear. It wasn't the same kind of excited shiver she got whenever Brittany would top the shit out of her. It was one filled with fear. Fear at Alec's voice, fear at the fact that they were in the middle of a school hallway and he clearly had no problem with doing this here, fear about what he would do if he had her in private.

Feeling his hot breath on her face she started to fight back. Both her hands latched onto the arm that was trapping her, tugging, pulling and scratching on it. Alec's reaction to this was to slam his body into hers and lift his arm slightly, causing the air in her lungs to be forcefully removed and then for breathing to become difficult for her. "Don't worry you don't have to talk, at all. I just have a few things you need to hear and one thing for you to see."

The jock moved his body back so that there was some space between them and then just to make sure that she wasn't going to do anything, he moved his arm higher up, only stopping when she was stood on the tips of her feet and her head was pushed up as far as it could. "I've told your brother that you went AWOL, and about that kiss I saw this morning. His reply didn't seem too happy, I'll show you it."

He fished around in his pocket, pulling his phone out and opening up a message. Holding it in front of Santana's face so that she could read it, he watched the change of emotions that ran over her face. The message read: _Get the bitch and lock her up. I'll be back to deal with her soon._

"Guess you don't need these anymore." He said as he removed her glasses and threw them down the hallway. Santana's world was turned into a blurred mess, cringing when she heard her glasses clatter along the floor. She hadn't been able to put any contacts in due to not actually having any at Brittany's house. It meant that she couldn't tell who the flying blonde mess that tackled Alec was. All she knew was that the pressure that was against her neck was gone as she crumpled to the floor.

Brittany had had to pee, she was worrying too much and that always made her have to pee, after attaining a hall pass she made her way to the nearest toilets, which happened to also be the ones Santana had visited. Only difference was that she had left her room quite a bit later than Santana had. Upon entering the hallway with the toilet on, she had never been more grateful for having to pee in her life. The scene that greeted her was one that horrified and terrified her, but not enough to make her freeze. Using her long legs she started running towards the pair. Once arriving there she didn't halt her momentum she just used it to propel herself into Alec's side. Although she was strong from both cheerleading and dance Alec was both taller and bigger than her which meant that she couldn't knock him to the floor. However her movement and the fact that she court him unaware meant that she was able to detach him from her Santana. Who crumpled to the floor hand on her neck coughing a little.

Ignoring the part of her that was screaming at her to care for her girlfriend, - she felt that was what they definitely were, especially after their shared kiss in the hallway, - She punched Alec in the face before he threw her off him. She landed hard against the opposite lockers.

The commotion that they were causing wasn't very quiet, which meant that the teachers in the surrounding classrooms worked their way into the hallway, which was how all three of them found themselves in the Principals office.

"Seeing as all three of you are refusing to tell me what happened I have been forced to suspend all of you for one week."


End file.
